Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Day Six

Dan: Hey, know who I hate?

Jeff: Who?

Dan: Ross Theriault

Jeff: Why do you hate him?

Dan: Because he is a total douche. His movie preferences are awful.

Ross T: Haayyy guyss. What's doin'?

Dan: Get the fuck out of here.

Ross: Mehhh

Dan: That's what I fucking thought.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Day 4

Dan: Ken's blog isn't funny

That other guy: Agreed, he should stop it

Dan: Please let us die, Ken.... PLEASE!!!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Day Three

Dan: Would it be annoying if I were to practice my tap dance routine right now?

Jeff: Since when are you learning the art of tap.

Dan: For a few weeks now. I had the shoes anyway because they were on sale and my sneaks were ruined.

Jeff: How long ago did you get the shoes?

Dan: I don't know. Maybe 1-8 months ago.

Jeff: Now, have you been wearing the shoes all the time?

Dan: Yeah, I would just take them off before I came into the apartment so it wouldn't bother you.

Jeff: Anyway, yes, it would be annoying and you dance like if shit grew legs of retarded babies and put on anvils as tap shoes.

Dan: ...So, is $300.00 a month too much for my lessons?

Jeff: WHAT??? Where did you get this money?

Dan: Well, if you must know I joined an exotic tap dance group on the weekends and apparently my retarded baby shit legs are good enough to bring in a few hundred a weekend.

Jeff: An exotic what?

Dan: Yeah, we're called "Tap That Ass"

Jeff: ... ... (sigh)

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Day Two Part: II

Jeff: Hey, I am going to the grocery store need anything?

Dan: Nope.

Jeff: Alright, be back soo...

Dan: Actually, I need cereal.

Jeff: Is that it?

Dan: Yes, well, maybe some milk, eggs, steak. The good steak I dont like cheap shit. Also, ice cream and champagne. I have a lady friend coming over.

Jeff: Not a truth and I am not getting you any of those things. You haven't worked in 2 years. I pay the rent, help out somehow.

Dan: I'm not out of work, but I am trying to raise capital to fund my movie.

Jeff: Is this the movie about ninja kittens who fight other cats over...what was it again?

Dan: First, it is a coming of age story of kittens who become cats through the trials and tribulations of defending the earth from chinese people.

Jeff: Wow, the whole racist theme never fails to surprise me each time I hear it.

Dan: I can tinker with the story, but the catch-phrase is definitely going to be "It's time to meow mix things up"

Day Two

Dan: I really am having a hard time writing a blog post today.

Jeff: Bloggers block?

Dan: Good one, fuck face.

Jeff: Just trying to help. Any ideas flowing?

Dan: Not really. Wouldn't it be pretty funny if I wrote about having a hard time writing a blog post.

Jeff: Not at all. Sounds terrible.

Dan: Fuck you sooo much.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Day One: Part II

Dan: I hate Kids.

Jeff: Why do you hate kids? They are happy and not beaten down by life yet. Plus, some are cute.

Dan: One, are you gay? Two, I was talking about New Kids on the Block. I just bought their latest album and it isn't very good.

Jeff: Ok, interesting you would inquire about my sexuality...anyway, nobody refers to them as just "Kids" and also didn't that album come out like 3 years ago?

Dan: I will respond to you in order. Everyone calls them that, get with it. Also, yes, it may have been a few years, but I didn't think I was ready to hear them again yet. I was still hurt from when they originally broke up.

Jeff: I'm not even sure why this conversation is still going on, but since when....nope. No, I was right this conversation shouldn't continue. I do not have any vocabulary to repsond to the statements you just made.

Day One

Dan: Hey, What the face are you doing?

Jeff: Nothing...whoa, wait did you just say face instead of fuck.

Dan: Wow, you are rude. Sorry for trying to be intellectual. Some of us do read books.

Jeff: What does that even mean?

Dan: I'm just kidding. Books are for nerds and babies. Let's go fuck shit up.